The Complete Recordings of Hezekiah Procter (1925-1930), by Li'l Andy (2024)

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(Spoken introductory patter by Al Buschenberg)Come one, come all to the doctorThis here’s Hezzy ProcterJust come right on inThe show’s about to beginWe got Daddy Stovepipe Pink Anderson tooAnd nine Spanish dancing girlsDancing the scoodle-ooOld Brother Lance , if you give him a chancewill shimmy like he’s shakin’ from the St. Vitus DanceAnd I say, “Hail, hail, step right upAnd get yourself a remedy!”(instrumental)And I say, “Hail, hail, step right upAnd get yourself a remedy!” 

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Went out last night to the crib-house down the streetWent out last night to the crib-house down the streetWent out last night to the crib-house down the street (O LORD!)And my good gal stung me with the sweetest stingaree Ran to the doctor, boy I ran down fastRan to the doctor, boy I ran down fast (O LORD)He said: “There’s something wrong with your yas yas yas”Oh we sure did have a timeHow’d I know that gal o’ mine?She’s good-lookin’, but it is disease (?)Oh she done that little snake hip But then she gave me the dripNow the chills are overtakin’ me(instrumental)He took one look and I’ll tell you what he saidHe took one look and I’ll tell you what he saidHe took one look and I’ll tell you what he said (O LORD)He said “You got a hot tamale from sleeping in that woman’s bed”Now, some folks say that the crib-house drip ain’t badWell, some folks say that the crib-house drip ain’t bad (O Lord)It must not have been the crib-house drip they hadOh we sure did have a timeHow’d I know that gal o’ mine?She’s good-lookin’, but she’s got disease Oh she done that little snake hipBut then she gave me the dripNow the chills are overtakin’ me

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I had a gal, a little palShe was so sweet to startThen things got badShe’s always getting madI knew someday we’d have to partWell, she blew her top todayBecause I came home with the wrong bouquetGonna tell her that I’m gonePut it in a songAnd this is what I’m gonna say:I’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightI’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youWho’s not so full o’ spiteThere was so much nastiness I had ignoredCuz that woman’s built just like a V-8 FordI’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightWhen we get to the preacher and he says, “Do you do?”I might just say, “I might!”And when I get her home after the honeymoonNeighbours start to bang the ceiling with a broom I’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightShe’s gonna do all the things you used to doWhen we put out the lightGonna greet her in the morning with a red, red roseTake her to the pictures and buy her clothesI’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me right(instrumental)I’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightA cute li’l puppy just like youWith less bark in her biteAnd you can get jealous of the gal I foundCome around a-sniffin’ like a Bassett houndI’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightI’m gonna find a big leg woman whoWould rather dance than fightAnd when you see her steppin’ at the Lindy hopBoy, you know that woman’s rooster just don’t stopI’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightAnd when you see us dancin’ at The Cotton Bale :“Boy that woman surely does a fine fishtail !”I’m gonna find a new sweetheart just like youBut one that treats me rightBut one that treats me right

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I See Jesus Coming Down the Road Through this wide and wicked world, I’m bound to wanderOn the highway, only darkness can I see When I close my eyes to rest upon the journey I see Jesus coming down the road to me Everytime I close my eyes, I see the SaviourHe will lift my heavy loadEverytime I close my eyes, I see JesusI see Jesus coming down the roadShe was all the light I’d known in this cold worldAnd she left me on this road to die aloneThe crows call out my name beyond the shadowsThe stars in heaven are all turned to stoneEverytime I close my eyes, I see the SaviourHe will lift my heavy loadEverytime I close my eyes, I see JesusI see Jesus coming down the road 

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My brother and I took an evening walkBy the banks where the Hiwassee flows;Where the water rolls over the rounded rocksAnd the wild trout lily grows.He said, “My dear brother, forsake me not—Redemption for me is too late.Not even the blood on the Saviour’s handsCan save me from my fate!”He said, “I must tell of my sweetheart—Her name is Jennie Blythe.The prettiest girl in all Hayesville townShe said she’d one day be my bride.I rode on the train to Hayesville PointTo ask for my sweet Jennie’s hand.There at the depot stood Jennie dearA-kissin’ another man.(instrumental)That night as we walked o’er the ‘Wasee bridge,We kissed in the soft moonlight.She cried, ‘Oh Willie, scorn me not:Make me an honest wife.’I choked her with my trembling hands;My sweet Jennie fought for her breath.Then I threw her into the riverTo die a sinner’s death.”(instrumental)My brother knelt down on the ground,My tears begun to flow.He plucked a lily from the ground,And onto the bridge he did go.He said, “Tell poor Jennie’s fatherHow sorry I am for him;And tell our aging motherI stumbled and could not swim.”He leapt into the river,The waters pulled him down.Through rocks and raging rapids,He did not make a sound.I cannot tell my family,How our dear brother died—He’s floating on the riverWith his darling Jennie Blythe.

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There’s a reckoning that’s comingThere’ll be lightning in the skyWhen the thunder starts a-drummin’And we’re headed to the by and byAnd on that Judgement morningTell me where you stand?With the scabs and the policeOr here beside your fellow man?When the fire comes down (when the fire comes down)When the fire comes down (when the fire comes down)It will wash my sins away (my sins away)When the fire comes down (when the fire comes down)When the fire comes down (when the fire comes down)And the (rich man’s made to pay)We’re in the mill a-workin’Unpacking all the cotton balesTo the sound of looms & spindlesWeighin’ them upon the scalesWhen Saint Michael comes in gloryFor the weighing of the soulsWhere the boss men hang in the balanceWill weigh upon their souls 

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O my darling one, see the setting sunClose its eye upon the dayCome down to the shore, I will row the oarsAs we glide upon our wayA melancholy tune, is beaming from the moonO tonight could bring such blissThere always is a chance, for wooing and romanceOn a summer night like thisStrum your mandolin, it is not a sinTo accept a tender kissThere always is a chance for wooing and romanceOn a summer night like this 

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‘Twas on a Sunday morning,the sabbath prayers done300 little children went to the NickleodeonThey thought they’d enjoy the frolicsOf a movie matineeThey could not know they all would dieIn the Palace Theater blaze‘Twas 18-year-old Davey Hayes Who first did sense the heat.300 children screamed aloudAnd jumped up to their feet300 little children fellAnd tumbled in the scrape300 little children ranTo the only fire escapeWho is the man who lit the matchAnd watched the flames grow high?Who is the man responsible For the Palace Theater Fire?(instrumental)Who can tell the dreadful scene At the movie theatre door?Young ones fell, crushed underfootAnd trampled on the floorThey cry for dad and motherBut their little lungs are chokedAnd the movie flickers on the screenBehind the rising smoke‘Twas Constable Al Arpin Who first came on the sceneHe heard a voice he recognizedAmid the cries and screamsHe ran into the theater darkAnd found there at his feetThe body of his youngest child—His daughter Emily Who is the man who lit the matchAnd watched the flames grow high?Who is the man responsible For the Palace Theater Fire?(instrumental)Somewhere beyond this tragic sceneIs a man who sees the flamesThat rise out from the theatre doors—And no one knows his nameHe watches as the firemenBring buckets filled with sandAnd walks out through the gathering crowdA matchbook in his hand

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There’s a dandy book today where you write and send away For anything that you’ll find at the cottage storeBe it a brand-new Meerschaum pipeOr acetylene headlights Or a readymade, gingham pinaforeIn the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueBuy a dolly for baby and feed for the hogIn the Roebuck CatalogueIn the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueBuy some phonograph records, a choke for the dogIn the Roebuck Catalogue.(instrumental)If you need an atomizer, or a new meat tenderizer Or a dress that is not sewn from flour sacks (laughter)With the Neighbour Order PlanYou can stock up on good brandsAnd save yourself the freight & handling taxIn the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueGet a gold ear trumpet and feed for the hogIn the Roebuck CatalogueIn the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueGet your brand of plug tobacco, a choke for the dogIn the Roebuck Catalogue(instrumental) (Spoken, by Buschenberg):Now the leg of Uncle Norm was blown off in the German WarWe couldn’t find a peg that fit him rightSo we put an order inFor an artificial limbAnd now he’ll dance a jig most every night!(Hurray!)In the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueGet some desiccated coconut and feed for the hogIn the Roebuck CatalogueIn the Roebuck Catalogue, in the Roebuck CatalogueGet a Supertone banjo, a choke for the dogIn the Roebuck Catalogue. 

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We was ballin’ the jack and we was having a timeI was walking the track with a friend of mineWhen the 5:19 came a-rollin’ alongI was eatin’ a bun and singing my songIt went: “Ha, Oh I confess!Meet me Saturday nightIn a gingham dressIn a gingham dress”[Get?] a weaning pig and shave off his britsGet a real good fire going in your spitGet some barbecue sauce and paint it onYou’ll have some sucklin’ meat before too longI said, Ha, Lord I confess!Meet me Saturday nightIn a gingham dressIn a gingham dress(instrumental)(repeat chorus)When the sun goes down and it’s a Saturday nightWe go dancin’ by the coal-oil lightsWe put the radio on, we [sweep?] off the porchWe’ll have a cakewalk down at Brockman’s storeI said, Ha, Lord I confess!Meet me Saturday night (Yeah!)In a gingham dressIn a gingham dress 

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Introductory comedic sketch. Spoken between Hezekiah and Jeremiah Procter.(Imitation car noises, engines, etc.)Hezekiah: “Hey there Jeremiah, what’s that comin’ into my yard, scarin’ off all of my hogs, then?”Jeremiah: “Why I’m glad you asked, Hezekiah, this is my gasoline-burning automobile!”Get out your Studebaker, Model TAnywhere you wanna beGet out on the road, oh, the highway is your oysterIf you wanna buy a lean machineReally burns the gasolineKeep your engine nice & cleanGet yourself a WolverineOr better yet, a big old Lexington RoadsterIf you got a little planGet yourself a Cole sedanThere’s alotta folks today[That] really like a ChevroletBut if it rolls, then it’s the car for me.Get behind the wheel (Wheel wheel wheel…)Of an automobile (beal, beal, beal…)I’ve got a feel (feel, feel, feel?...)For the automobileWell, my old folks live sorta farWe take a ride in my motor carWhat a deal! In the automobile(instrumental)Pack up yourPalomino pony ridesGet on up and climb insidePut yourself in gear andWe will roll the top back (roll it on back!)Wanna trade your Model AFor a shiny Ford coupéTake ‘er for a drive todayCome and listen what I sayShe’ll beat the lot at any county racetrackYou can drive a country mileIn the very latest styleThere’s alotta folks todayThat really like a ChevroletBut if it rolls, then it’s the car for meGet behind the wheel (Wheel wheel wheel…)Of an automobile (beal, beal, beal…)I’ve got a feel (feel, feel, feel...)For the automobileMy old folks live sorta farWe take a ride in my motor carWhat a deal! In the automobile(Get back there, Mack!)

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It was on a Sunday evening,The clock was striking nine,The crowd round the counter in Kendall’s barroomWas low-down and feelin’ fine.When in walked a handsome stranger—He stood a good six feet pat—He brushed the snow from the lapels of his swallow-tail coat And he doffed his Derby hat.And he sat by a yellow-haired lady,He looks into the mirror and winks,He says, “Someone in this bar might be killed tonight!”Then he paid for a round of drinks. He says, “My name? My name is Rudy Baron.I used to ride the Queen & Crescent And that A&V line.Last night, I wined the Governor’s wife in a first-class dining car But tomorrow morning, that’s when I ride the blinds.” He said he’d gambled in old Monte Carlo. He’d spent most of his life on the lam, Since the night he stuck his pearl-handled razoo On a bailiff in BirminghamSo he ran rum down in Havana,Says, “Those boys ain’t caught up with me yet!Why, if I hadn’t cut that cop I’d never made the front page Of the National Police Gazette.” And he says, “It’s not my way to preach, boys.But let me give you a bit of advice:If you got a sweetheart, don’t leave her to the wolves And take to the rambling life!” He says, “My name? My name is Rudy Baron.I’m the man who robbed the Southern Trust—I never lost a bet.But now there’s nothing in this world I own But a dusty old suit of clothesAnd now I come home to make good on a debt.”He chewed on his plug o’ tobacky,Says, “Boys, let me bid you farewell.”And when he hit the brass spittoon on the barhouse floor, It rang out like a mission bell.Rudy walked slow to the doorwaywhen a single shot cracked through the air.Then he fell to his knees and he uttered a curseOn the gal with the yellow hair.In her hand was an Owl’s Head pistol—She shivered and started to weep,As the life from the body or Rudy BaronPoured out onto Waterfront Street.  

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There’s a day that is coming when Saint Michael spreads his wing(s)And the angels sound their trumpets and the hallelujahs ringOn that resurrection morning, we’ll meet our savior thereWhen all God’s children meet Him in the middle of the airO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joysO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joysAnd when we meet our savior we shall make a joyful noiseO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joys(instrumental)There the rich man cannot enter with all his earthly storeLest he trade all of his riches for the blessings of the poorThe men who own the factories will know it is too lateWhen they see the poor and injured pass inside the pearly gateO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joysO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joysAnd when we meet our savior we shall make a joyful noiseO joy of joys, O joy of joys, O joy of joy of joys

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That which you do (do, do, do, do, doooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto me (unto me)That which you do (do, do, do, do, doooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto meOn the road to Jericho (co, co, co, co, oooo), a certain man did travelAnd fell among thieves (among thieves)A stranger took him in (in, in, in, in, ooooo) and ministered unto himHe was passed by the Levite and the priestThat which you do (do, do, do, do, doooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto me (unto me)That which you do (do, do, do, do, oooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto me(instrumental)In this hard and heavy world (world, world, world, world, world, ooooo)Many are the fallen who lie at our feet (at our feet)Ask of yourself (self, self, self, self, self, ooooo) who may be your neighborHe may be lying in the streetThat which you do (do, do, do, do, doooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto me (unto me)That which you do (do, do, do, do, oooo) to the least of these, my brothersYou do unto me 

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And when those days are come to passThe dead shall walk againAnd tombs relieved of all their storeShall echo in His name(instrumental)“I am not come to bring you peace,But come to bring a sword”So spoke our loving Jesus Christ,Our meek and mild Lord

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