The Best of Star Thistle, by Star Thistle (2024)

1.

When I fell, it always feltLike the world had wrapped a blanket around itselfAll I could see, beside meWere vague shapes of what lay underneathHere and there an arm emergedA bit of hair, a stray urgeNothing connectedThe air fell upon itselfI was lonely, broke and hungry in my attic cellPromises I made when I was afraidWell they fell like hollow arrows in pouring rainBut still one foot followed the otherAnd then I’d start over [x2]I think it was then that the windTwisted me into your bedYou wound your legs around mineAnd you loosened the air and you slowed down timeUntil it was just this:A breathAnd then anotherAnd then we start over [x2]

2.

I spent last summer with a turtle girlGoing three-thirds crazy with the hesitation bluesShe was 50-50, and I was certifiedA bona fide Bodner with the hesitation bluesSinging how long are you gonna waitHow long are you gonna hesitateI spent last fall doing not much at allImpersonating patience with the hesitation bluesI wasted time fighting isolationCourting dragamuffins with the hesitation bluesSinging how long, how long, o lordy how…A poseful man in a red rocking chairSoliloquizing on the hesitation bluesHe pours himself another glass of silence andWhips himself over the hesitation bluesSinging how long am I gonna waitHow long am I gonna hesitateHow long, how long, o lordy how…

3.

Oh my dear, I truly believeYou like all the parts of meThat I let you seeAnd my dear, well if I should seeA less than ideal picture of meI just hit deleteGet my story straight and deliver on timeMake sure every character gets a lineThere’s a part here undefinedIt could be yours and it could be mineWhat if I told you that II followed the wrong stars all of my life [x2]What if I told you that I--I hauled the north star downI ground it downI maybe made a little whimpering soundAnd watched the light go outAnd you, I’m so grateful for youAnd all the gentle things you doTo push me throughYou could go, and of course you could stayAnd watch the bruises I made every dayFade awayAh let’s put aside, the stories that II told to get by, all of my life [x2]And if we go outsideWith open eyesAnd we go where the water’s wideYour hand in mineWhat happens when we’re on the happier sideOf a rising tide

4.

Well if I am the flatlands, you’re the seaTouch me here, on my chestThis is where you’re leaking into meAnd yes you are my woman, I’m your manShow me what you want and IWill show you what I understandA solitary songbird sings advice:Freeze the restless moon in the green river iceInside, I light a fire and you bring meA broken hand for a broken handA sudden open possibility(No guarantees)Let’s turn it aroundLet’s own this townLet’s step off the edge andFeel the pleasure ofSinking, sinking, sinking downA rumbling in your ear to entice:Build a home with me in the green river ice

5.

Well she came like summer rain, the world got brightBlue-green with flecks of gold in the prairie lightAnd I said I would, oh my darling I wouldI would oh my darling I wouldWarm hands now moving down her perfect backOh she was my prettiest heart attackAnd I say I would, oh no question I wouldI would oh no question I wouldShe said “my thighs are bruised and sore from the jut of your hipYour eyes and your little sigh make me bite my lipAnd I would too, my darling, I wouldI would too my darling, I wouldAnd what we have is bigger than what we soughtI will not regret this time if it’s all we’ve gotAnd I would, oh I would if I couldI would, oh I would if I could”At the airport now with a suitcase and a long slow fadeShe turned around and broke down at the gateCrying “I would, oh I wish that I couldI would oh I wish that I could”And if, if she doesn’t goAnd if, if she doesn’t goShe’ll be the first to knowShe’ll be the first to knowNow I’m a thousand miles from her doorBetween my thoughts and words there lie ten thousand moreNot all waves break on shoreNot all waves break on shore

6.

It’s the simple things that elude meLike the how and the when and the whyEvery time I thought I knew whoShe had another to tryBut now that the maps are all foldedIn some pocket that I’ll never findI’m just pushing my way from the night to the dayAs I’m crossing your borderlineAnd if there’s a crack in the windshieldAnd a couple of holes in the floorAnd cigarettes spill off the edge of the ashtrayAnd no one can open the doorWell I guess that you get what you pay forI sure paid for what I got each timeBut the scenery’s changedThe winds are all strangeAs I’m crossing your borderlineThere’s ice blue out on the horizonBut the moon hasn’t given up yetYour breath comes in waves all over my bodyWe’re a tangle of skin, hair and sweatAnd the world shuts down for a momentThere’s no sense of what’s yours or what’s mineAnd I just let go of the things I don’t knowAs I’m crossing your borderline

7.

Everything I see, it is bigger than meI’ve seen what I wanted to see and I want to go homeAnd the past I tried to leave, it was bigger than meI tried to be who I tried to beBigger than me and as far as I can seeA single leaf in a forest of treesBigger than meAnd the things you gave to me were all bigger than meAnd you just kept on giving them for freeAnd your personality, and all the things you guaranteedThey were all bigger than meAnd this small epiphany it is bigger than meA big impossibility that I never could ownAnd the man I tried to be, he was bigger than meA piece of my tiny historyBigger than me and as far as I can seeA single drop in a raging seaBigger than me

8.

My girl left me on TuesdayShe tied a string around all the thingsShe’d decided to keep for a new dayWhile I was sleeping, while I was sleepingMy girl invented a sunriseAn open door, a chance to be bornShe took one last look at my closed eyesWhile I was thinking, while I was thinkingAnd since she could not give me timeShe sealed my eyes with two thin dimesMy girl came down with the sicknessThe river’s daughter cried out for waterShe said “don’t you want to quit this”While I was sinking, while I was sinkingMy girl left me a warning:“Sharpen your tune, make your peace with the moonIf you want to make it up to the morning”While I was sleeping, while I was sleepingAnd while the sun burned up in the airAnd I closed my eyes, that moon was everywhereThat moon was everywhere [x3]

9.

That sense I couldn’t shake, that I was better yesterdayI’m gonna let it goAnd the possibilities that others saw in meI’m gonna let ‘em goDid I waste my time in lineDid I blow it every timeNo going back, no going backAnd this feeling in my head, like everything’s unstoppableIt’s not impossible to let it goAnd the worn-out memories of the best and worst of meI’m, I’m gonna let ‘em goIf I tried to stay with you, it’s just…you were all I knewLong ago I should have let you goAnd if being this sort of man was never part of my planYou’ll understand if I let it goAnd the one or two I tried to keep from leaving me behindIt took a bit of time to work you off my mindI got so far away from home I had to make one of my ownOn my own, on my ownAnd if I spent thirty years just trying to disappearI didn’t know how to let it goAnd was my simple goal to gain or let go of controlMy scars show how I let it goMy mind, it had to learn to make my heart beat out these words:No going backThere’s no going back [x3]

10.

Did I call to you the way you called to meOh, oh are you a little kittykat in a treeThe house is bare but it’s getting warmHere, let me get this heavy door come inMy darling one, come inYou know I noticed here, where we stopped to standOh your lower back asking for my handA straight-ahead path can get us lostThere’s a gentle way to shape running waterShaping running waterAnd all these pale, pale blue butterfliesFrom mouth on mouth and from hand on handLooking for a safe place to landOh, looking for a heart to understandWell the valley’s low and the mountain’s highOh it feels like we could tiptoe to the skyWe’re the only ones for miles aroundOh set me up and knock me downOh knock me downOh we are both shadows and lightWe are day and night, we are day and nightWe are both flesh and boneShelter and storm, shelter and stormYeah we are both free and boundOh we are lost and foundWe are lost and found

11.

A crooked heart still has a rhythmI’ve got a little routine that I learned from beforeMy mouth around a tune that rises up too soonCold air blowing through a crack in the door [x2]Now and then it falls out of straight timeSkipping over the water, and it’s hidden from viewAnd an ordinary wind starts rising up againStarts pushing me over and closer to you [x2]I once thought the heart had no reasonAnd I hid it a while or I gave it on loanNow I know it’s there because it’s easier to be thereChipping and breaking when I go it alone [x2]The wind bends the backs of all the jackpinesClouds so low they’re almost not thereI’m shifting around on the last piece of home groundEarly fall hanging high in the air [x2]

12.

When I was 16, I couldn’t get enough to give it for free, I was:Green smoke and ashA calculated crashSaver of the trash in a breaking homeSideways and slyAnd dead ends aliveThe snaking springtime lie inside my throatAnd my face is not frozen in timeIt has correction linesIt bends a little in the light and goes onWhen I turned 25, I found another way to feel half alive, I was:Pacing the floorOne hand on the doorBurnt down, broken, poor and hungry too;Rainy day grey eyes and a Boy of my own kindSome I left behind, some I carried throughAnd our faith is not frozen in timeWe get correction linesWe bend a little in the night and go onWhen I turned 31, another part of me was coming undone, I was:Bruises and scarsHopelessly farStay where you are and don’t look downSoft spots and bones And another dream of homeLaid out on my own in frozen townsYeah my place is not frozen in timeI have correction linesI move a little to the right and go onNow older, I understandOh yes I guess my grief is a man, I’m all:Blue calm and fearAnd playing it by earThe sleeping engineer drifts off the tracks;And this leaning spireThis smoking little fireThis wound and knotted wire’s all white and blackAnd our grace is not frozen in timeWe get correction linesWe bend a little to the light and go on

released May 24, 2021

All songs written by Star Thistle, © 2021 Star Thistle and Stomp the Bug Music
Affiliated with SOCAN and CONNECT; mechanical licensing through CMRRA

Produced by Star Thistle and Dylan Bodner
All Star Thistle parts recorded at Sinner HQ, with tracks from Slackeye Slim and Dylan Bodner recorded in their respective locations
Mixed by Star Thistle and Dylan Bodner
Mastered by Ron Skinner of Heading North Mastering
Photos of Star Thistle and house by Alex Kohut
Botanical drawings found by C.L., edited by Meg Rabbit
Photo of a star thistle with butterfly courtesy of Meg Rabbit, edited by Dylan Bodner
Graphic design, layout and typesetting by Dylan Bodner
CD printed by Ironstone Technologies, with thanks to Dan Shnier